My Shadows.

//Monday, April 27, 2009 9:15 PM

我想回到过去

我知道，过了人生的某些阶段，就不能回到过去，
我知道，我不能一直回头望着过去，
我知道，人与人之间是不能做比较，
我知道，我应该试着适应新生活，
我知道的很多，但我不想往前走。

我知道这只是心里一时的难过与彷徨，
但我觉得很累，是那种毫无理由的累。
现在又流泪的冲动，因为我很怀念大家在我身旁的时候。
我知道，这只是过渡时期，我也希望这样的日子能快点过去，
因为很累，很无助。

我知道我会遇到形形色色的人，
但我没那个耐心去忍受每个人的缺点，
我知道我很自私，但我的心会不自觉地抗拒。

我是刺猬，很想逃避一切的懦弱刺猬。

我很累，不知道是心灵上的累，还是身体上的疲累？
我只知道，我也很烦。

//Saturday, April 25, 2009 10:16 PM

A week of poly life

A week of poly life has passed.A tiresome and eventful week.

Well,Poly life is alright,it's just that i still have not adapt and attuned to the large amount of freedom the school gave us,like for e.g.long breaks between lessons,no more 'spoon-feeding' us, a lot of self-motivational work and getting out of school for just lunch.hahas.well,it's new and fresh to me.in any case,IT JUST FEELS LIKE I'M HAVING SOME WORKSHOP OR ENRICHMENT PROGRAMME RATHER THAN LESSONS.hahas.i've got to absorb the knowledge that the teachers teach,seriously.(because normally i wouldn't absorb anything during workshop lesson)hahas.

Well,in any case,what i need is still TIME to adapt to everything that is happening in my poly life=)

CCAs.I've no idea whether should i joined Bowling,which i got to pay 16bucks for every training session or LEO Club which is an event-based CCA.haiya,i really have no idea what to choose.maybe,i will go for the bowling trial 1st before i decide on anything=)

Thoughts.I just thought that even though we are studying in poly,that doesn't automatically set us into competitive mode and always compete with one another endlessly and openly.i know i have an overpowering urge of winning everything,it's me since young,but i do know something can't be forced.i will definitely try to convert my winning urge to learn humbly from everyone else.in any case,my course is filled with ppl who are good in chinese,so naturally,i will learn from them.IT'S A BRAND NEW START.

hopefully,my mind and soul wouldn't be filled all those negative thoughts.POSITIVE AURA,I NEED YOU.=)

I have this feeling,in my course,we are not competing equally due to our different background.

Well,LET'S WORK HARD!=)

Xinying fighting!

//Monday, April 20, 2009 10:31 PM

1st day of school!

1st day of school!AFTER 6 LONG MONTHS BREAK.

hahas.everybody was just unfamiliar with one another so lessons was filled with silence and awkward pauses and etc.just the same old things that u always encountered during the 1st day of lesson.

anyway,my class is has some super AMK who speaks english until like so slang,which i envy a lot.but unfortunately,i've no idea but why,i've got a feeling that they are quite 碧球.and there are some foreign friends who are extremely loud in their attire.hahas.perhaps it's due to the vague understanding i've of them.hopefully i will get to mixed around more and more=)

Lessons was also long and lecturers were friendly.Our part time lecturer for publication and design,Norman,is an extremely random guy.but he really indeed helps to lighten the atmosphere.He talk halfway and he asks us where is the water cooler because he feels rather thirsty.hahas.so funny.

in any case,hopefully the rest of my school days will get better and better=)

i've also got homework or u can say some sort of reflection to do today.i've did my best because he just give a vague description of wad he wants.so ya...

going to sleep now cos school starts @9am tmr and ends at 6pm tmr!!3hrs break in between though and we decided to visit the CCA fiesta and go out for lunch.(we are just too free!hahas)

I MISSED KRANJI and my 10 YEARS OF REGULAR SCHOOLING STYLE DEARLY.

but i will grow up and adapt to it=)

我不知道自己做的选择对不对，

或许这是一个过渡期，所以我才会这样忐忑不安与犹豫。

//Sunday, April 19, 2009 9:57 PM

BACK TO SCHOOL.

Back to school tomorrow and it's a brand new beginning again!
I've got to start everything again and i wonder how my life will progress.In any case,i shall really work hard and try my best in everything i do!=)
and of course,i will try as much as possible not to do things against my will and wishes.
Lesson starts at 11am,so i guess i have to wake up at around 9am,that isn't too bad as compared to secondary school life where i got to wake up at 6am.but my lessons drag till 6pm in the evening.That's definitely a test of my patience and my attention.hahas.

Well,i end lesson at 6pm on monday and tuesday,4pm on wednesday and friday and 1pm on friday!There's no school-less day for me but i guess i won't have to envy too.also,i haven activate my NEW student pass yet.guess i will spend finish the dollar plus in my secondary school ez-link card first.hahas.

In any case,i anticipate and dread school tomorrow.I guess i've to undergo some setback again while making friends due to my extraordinary personality.hmphs.but i guess showing true self is better than wearing a mask when making friends.oh crap,i actually dunno wad to blog.i'm actually here to commemorate my last day of holidays.hahas.

oh ya,i guess i will lose sleep again.not because i'm excited but my mind and body just won't drift to sleep.hahas.so kiddish of me.=)

Well well,i charged finish my macbook and i think it's really a chore charging macbook because it takes forever.hahas.one con about macbook.
in any case,i REALLY dunno wad to blog.

Good luck to every poly freshmen!=)

P.S.hopefully i won't be pestered by over friendly seniors to show me where my classroom is.I really dread this.hahas.
P.P.S.My hairstyle look atrociously out of place now.i'm going to lie that i was born with this kind of hairstyle.
P.P.P.S.I want LIJING AND JINYAN to go to school with me tmr!hahas.I'm afraid of strangers.

//Saturday, April 18, 2009 10:07 PM

Bad Day

Today is an emo cum make-mistakes Day.i guess it's e punishment for me for not lending Mr Wee a helping hand.

Today was another sweltering hot day and when i worked at store,i made a lot of mistakes which is like so stupid of me.I'M SO DISAPPOINTED WITH MYSELF WHEN I KEEP MAKING MISTAKES.AARGH.

haiya,but 经一事，长一智 mahx,so i shall treat every mistakes as a learning opportunity=)

(i mean this is the only way to comfort myself a little bit.)

and OMG.school is starting the day after tomorrow.It's like i wondered am i prepared mentally and physically for school?hahas,even if not,i still have to go to school mahx.hahas.

我讨厌自己随风的态度，

有时後别人的印象会变成我的印象，

有时後我在想自己的坚持在哪里？

灰飞烟灭了吗？

嗨哟，厌恶这样的自己。

如果决定放弃了，就不要后悔自己的决定。

//Friday, April 17, 2009 8:57 PM

Ajisen

Yay!Went to eat Ajisen yesterday with Melissa,Win and Siang Len.It was my first trip there and if not Siang Len,i guess i would nv have spent so much on a meal.hahas.The ramen was indeed nice but i guess the soup base was as salty as ever even though it was nice.hahas.I ordered the seafood ramen and i really did not regret it.the sotong paled in contrast with the scallops and the crab.hahas.anyway,i enjoyed my dinner=)

Today met with LiJing n Jinyan for lunch and movie(The Sniper),though it's only me and jinyan who eat and watch.hahas.It's been long since i watched an hour plus movie and it was really short,feel a little bit not worth it.but before that,we went to KFC and have our lunch.I supposed we talk quite loudly but i couldn't care less la.it really feels good to have a nice chat with them.hahas.=)

The Sniper movie was quite nice.i would give it a 3.5 for the movie but i think it was too fast-paced for a movie.hahas.

haiya,i now watching tv.super distracted.shall update again..=)

P.S.

Chien Yi,

I'm really sorry that i couldn't lend u a helping hand for tmr stuffs.REALLY SORRY!

//Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:22 PM

NP Induction

Been to Ngee Ann Poly these 2 days and ytd was to attend macbook training and today was for the induction programme.

Macbook training was kind of random and useless to me because firstly,i wasn't paying much attention as i was busy talking to junquan and peiyen.

secondly,it's not like we dunno how to explore this laptop.he really taught us those extreme basic stuffs.though i'm still not that familiar to mac,but wad he taught i do know most of them.hahas,flattering myself.*grins*

initially,the induction programme makes me feel rather lonely because i wasn't sitting with my friends and in such a big environment,i feel some sort of uneasiness.at that point of time,i really missed KSS=( but after that,it was alright.

anyway,i got to meet some of my course mates and meet some of them,but unfortunately, for now,most of all i know is guys(cos the row i sit in is with quite a number of guys).hahas.hopefully,i will get to know more of them during the coming monday=)

gtg.smilex always!=)

//Saturday, April 11, 2009 10:47 PM

memories of my lower secondary sch life

I was clearing one of mybookshelves today and i find back some unique memories of my lower secondary school life.hahas.It was rather hilarious to see some of my "masterpiece".

Here it is:

Secondary 1 life

My artwork for EOY examination.It was definitely a torture for me,much worse than physics.imagine needing to draw and paint on the spot an art idiot like me!thank goodness,my sister have a trial run with me on how to draw and paint so as to prevent me from making a mess during examination and at loss of what of to do.hahas.intelligent huh,my family?also,we choose the most easiest thing to draw so that i would not struggle too much during examination.hahas,thank goodness,Sec 3 n 4 had no art classes.HENG arh.

Hahas,does any people from my class still rmb this?It's one of the assignments that we are supposed to do so as to secure our PPR marks.anyway,the school just keep threatening us with the "Promotion exercise" which i personally think is a bit of crap la.hahas,to think i actually took it quite seriously.but anyway,it's part of the journey.if not for that,we will just think that we can just slack for our secondary school life=)

Woohoos,i am actually quite erm embarrassed to show this self-composed poem.It's actually one of the assignment for literature(inside the file shown above) and i dun understand why mr Goh actually admired this piece of crap poem.(he give me 23/30 for this assignment,i guess it must be my effort,hahas.)

THIS POEM IS LITERALLY SO SILLY.hahas.i couldn't stop smiling when i saw this poem.

My first newspaper report!It's a random piece,anyway.hahas.i thought this was rather well written.at least in my opinion la.hahas.afterall,my english standard remains as lousy as ever.can't be blame.I was not borned to be an AMK.=)

Secondary 2 life

can u believe i actually got such good grades for my physics paper when i was in sec 2?i wonder where did my talent for physics have gone to.perhaps mr ong soon kiat did teach well,but nevertheless,i nearly fall asleep in some of his lesson because it was so BORING.hahas.BUT,i still rmb the PAPA battery,MAMA battery and BABY battery,not forgetting his lame jokes=)

Look at this!hahas.I'm so honoured to be named as the exemplary student=)

actually,i did nothing much to get this certificate,i'm also puzzled by how i got this certificate.nevertheless,i'm extremely overjoyed for my achievements in secondary 2 life,that was my best year and i would always rmb that year=)

This pile of exercises were done by me during the end of 2006 so as to get myself prepared for my Sec 3 express life.i did most of the chapter exercises in the Sec 2 express textbook(i intend to do finish all the exercises in the textbook,but i got too bored and sianz about it).I rmb doing one exercise everyday.Looking back,i think my perseverance did pay off=)

anyway,the "Pre Sec3 remedial"conducted by Mr Kat was definitely useful.see,such a dedicating teacher.He's a rare teacher,u know.how i wished he would teach me forever.hahas.=)

Our 2G'06 flyer for service learning!hahas,it contains so much memories to me!but i can only remember vaguely.I remember how dedicated LIJING were to this project and we really did put in loads of effort for this!anyway,heartfelt thanks to those who patron us that day!it makes our day so much easier=)

D&T drawing proudly done by....

my father!!!!WAHAHA.i really have no talent in drawing lahx,so no choice,have to seek help from my father.and he drew well,right?it's really almost identical to the product that i've made.i wonder where did all his art genes in my body gone to?probably turns into something else bahx.hahas.=)

That's all!It really brought back a lot of memories from all those photos that i shown u=)and it definitely shows how life was when i was in lower secondary.Struggling with the art,battling with the physics was definitely the two most torturous events that happened in my lower sec life.I will definitely run away if u want me to draw again.hahas.=)

smilex always,people!=)

P.S.though i'm extremely poor,i wanna catch The Snipper!I wanna watch movie!=)hahas.

//Friday, April 10, 2009 9:48 PM

Work!

First of all,I promise Mr Gabriel Soo Jian Zhong and Mr Wee Chien Yi that i will bold and write something in bright red.and here it is!

GABRIEL SOO JIAN ZHONG IS SLEEPING OVER AT WEE CHIEN YI HOUSE TONIGHT.AND I BET THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING UNSPEAKABLE=) [in case u dunno,they got some 匪夷所思的关系=）]

hahas.and before i end my post,i will definitely contribute one photo of them so as to present my sincere wishes to them of having a great night!=)

well,i work morning shift today and i'm feeling extremely tired right now.but in order to earn more money,i guess it's worth it.I'm not short of cash but i guess it always feel good to spend ur time wisely.hahas.
Again,met some weirdos today but i guess it's just part and parcel of my whole working experience and it definitely broaden my horizon.

Later,went to meet up with ChienYi,Dylan,Gabriel and Siew Lee and we headed for lunch at LJS.it's been a long time since i ate LJS.the ultimate seafood combo is definitely filling and delicious.at least i thought it's nice!!=)but can they stop giving us the small plate(box?)?it make it so difficult for me to eat lorx,especially the cutting space is like so small.We then went to Suntec and window shop around.Dylan just can't keep his rotten mouth closed.Keep shooting @ me,but well,i can't be bothered with him.Just hope that he wouldn't keep on talking trash.
Gabriel and Chien Yi are definitely the DJs of CRAP FM.they just keep crapping and crapping.@_@

有些事情，不是说想要就有。

Here's the photo that i promised u guys earlier:
No offence,though=)

//Thursday, April 09, 2009 11:58 AM

Camp

Been blog hopping around just now and i saw many people joining orientation camp organised by their school.
I've not joined any and if u asked me whether i made the right choice,seriously speaking,i'm really hesitant towards my decision.hahas.
Since i choose not to join,i guess so be it.hahas.reasons for not joining overnight camp is because:
1.I have a phobia towards camp.not a really serious phobia lahx,just that i really dread camp.especially the preparation work(bringing this and that) and the after camp effect(u gotta unpack the bag and u feel extremely drained off).

2.I dun really enjoy myself during the camp.my attitude and my temper will become very intolerant during the camps and i tend to drift off.hahas.I'm not a person that is able to hide all my unhappiness well.I guess i leaked out 80% of my true emotions all the time.When i'm tired,i show weariness in my face though i tried not to show 100%,but i think people will sense it.since i tends to drift away.

Ya,that's the two most important factor that deterred me from joining overnight camp.I know I'm extremely 难搞（hard to please)but that's part of my personality.I guess i have too much memory of unpleasant camp trip.hahas.

I'm feeling extremely sleepy now for no good reason since i woke up at 10.15 this morning,but i guess it might be due to the lack of quality sleep i have.I've got plenty of quantity sleep but no quality sleep.hahas.

Saw Ruiyang on the bus yesterday and we chatted a bit about his school life.It's good to see ur secondary school classmates.hahas.

anyway,in response to Elaine Ang accusation that i did not blog anything about her and also plus showing my sincere apology to her(i didn't go to add maths tutoring),i decided to blog about her=)

Elaine Ang:
Ehh, a fun and lovable person whom i know through the Secondary 3 camp.She is extremely crazy all the times,doing all sort of things that totally make me dun wanna recognised her as one of my friends.She loves to jump around the whole school and she will sometimes,out of nowhere,ask u a random question which makes me STUNNED.hahas.
She was the girl who sat besides me almost throughout my secondary 3 life and she was the one who introduced me to this drama called "Supernatural",and she will tell me every details of the story.She is definitely a good story-teller.hahas.

She's a good teacher too,u know,teaching me patiently physics,the subject which i totally have no talent in.hahas.anyway,if u wanna find a good seating partner,i would definitely recommend her.=)

She also surprised me by saying that I've got an independent woman image(Which i know ppl like JY,LJ and my family member will puke like crazy.but too bad,i accepted this compliment.)

I will always have an image of her sobbing while carrying a large roll of toilet paper(that time when she got panicky about her O level chinese).i'm sorry,can't erase that image.hahas.

Just wanna tell u,Miss 翁玮琳:
有些事情,真的不需要想太多的,有时候,太过于分析他人的举动和想法,
会让你很累的.
有时候,真的做回你自己就够了.
还有,泪腺发达的你,不要再轻易掉眼泪了,
因为我不会在你身边,陪你上厕所,然后在里面大哭一场.
是时候,展现你既坚强又富有魅力的一面了,
让伤透你心的男人知道放弃你是他错误中最大的错误,失策中最失败的失策=)
加油!

//Wednesday, April 08, 2009 11:23 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,NOONA!!=)
1 year older le,and u are 22!!hahas.

well,it's my sister birthday today and it was also a busy day for me.
Went to hospital to get my medical report and thank goodness,the report was good,so check-up in another 6 months' time again!=)
and went home to celebrate birthday with sister as i gotta work later.

ahh..i dunno wad to blog about.suppose i keep it short and swift.=)

P.S.this post is actually posted on 4/9/09.hahas.

//Monday, April 06, 2009 11:07 PM

WAHAHA.

I feel so cheery today because i cut my hair today=)
and i suddenly feel like i can float to the air cos i cut short it.
Gotta say goodbye to all my rubber band temporary,it's time to let my hair to take a breath from all those tying and bundling up=)

My mum says it's ugly,my dad say it's nice,my sister says it's ok,my brother says nothing.
so which one do you think it is?=)

Whatever it is,I'm HAPPY=)

//Sunday, April 05, 2009 10:01 PM

Graduation

Being 17 of my age,i've receive 2 fundamental certificate of my life,PSLE and O level.nevertheless,before certificate,it's graduation.(oh,wad lousy eng)

hahas.

I've confessed to some of my closest friend that i did not have a great year when i was Primary 6,partly because i was suffering from my lousy grade(in case u didn't know,i was the second last in class and i was the last in class for my PSLE score) and of course,my failed friendship with my friends.i never deny the fact that i was a lousiest friend they ever met,i speak ill behind of their back(tell me who doesn't) to some of my friends from e clique and i guess that was my biggest fault.They gang up and backstabbed me,leaving me out of their clique and that was my worst day in school.

i gotta thanked some of them for pulling me through those blackest day like Eric,___yang(i can't rmb his name),Vito,Shafiqa and Mr Chua because they didn't know wad happened.even if they do,i wouldn't know either.hahas.

Frankly speaking,deep in my heart,i would nv attempt to forgive those friends that hurt me.I'm sorry i can't.i'm not that benevolent.and neither can i be so forgetful.

I thanked my brains for pulling me through too.cos i was always comforting myself with the same old words:我需要重新开始，需要新的环境，这样就没问题啦.

At first,in Kranji,i did not have a good start because of someone.but this someone eventually became my friend and i'm really glad how things turned out=)

Thanks PT for giving me a chance to let me become her friend.though our personalities are world apart,but i would always regard her as one of my friend.no matter how she turns out to be=)

but after this incident,my life in Kranji turns out to be wonderful.hahas,i get to know a great good bunch of friends.I really love and cherished them a lot=)

Well,no matter how troublesome KSS is for all the rules and whatever lame stuffs,i really love KSS.hahas.=)

Thank you,people!

This includes:JINYAN,LIJING,CHIENYI,MELISSA,GABRIEL SOO,LIYING,CHINSENG,ELAINE,SIEW LEE,MR KAT,MS NAT,MISS LEE and much more!!I will add on to the list as i can't rmb all now.my memory is detoriating because of the holidays.hahas.

Saw one of primary school friend ytd and he's a special one to me so that really triggered all my memories back.I looked back and i realised that i grow so much through this yr.It's amazing and shocking.

有时後，人生的一堂课，可以带给我很大的冲击。

抱歉，这辈子，我将无法释怀小六所发生的一切，

它带给我的启发与痛太多了。

它不是一个三言两语就能副平的伤口。

//Thursday, April 02, 2009 11:07 AM

18 more days.

WOW.in 18 more days,i'm going back to campus life!hahas,i wonder is this something that is worth rejoicing for?
well,on the brighter side,i guess i will be spending my time more wisely rather than slacking at home and doing nothing EXCEPT housework.hahas.

31 march went out with GuoHao,JunQuan and MeiChen to get a laptop sleeve and casing.initially,i think it was only my idea to get a laptop casing,but in the end,GH and JQ also got one.they both bought a red leather casing,while i get a black one.I was rather insistent on getting a black one initially,but i start to waver after seeing the red laptop casing for awhile.but in the end,i did not get e red one as there is only one piece left after the two guys grab theirs.and it was nt in a very good condition.oh well,nvm la.hahas,and i joked to GH that i will dump his Apple because he got e red laptop casing.hahas.but i'm really kidding la.in any case,the color choice is very limited.if there's blue colour,i will definitely grab it lorx.Hopefully,i will get my ideal laptop sleeve soon=)

WHATEVER,i'm rather pleased with my black laptop casing and i feel safer bringing my Apple out now.at least,it's less vulnerable and prone to scratches now=)

going back to school later for add maths peer tutoring.i guess this will be my last 2 lessons since unfortunately there's lot of things that fall on wednesday and thursday in April.school also starting soon=)

btw,i've been feeling sleepy despite getting 8-10hours sleep.i guess i'm gonna be a pig soon.hahas.a sleep-deprived pig.how am i going to survive when school reopens?hahas.

A GREAT THANKS TO MR GABRIEL SOO for acknowledging my intelligence=)
Here's the evidence:

well,uploading some JJ concert picture cos not all photos are taken very clearly.

That's how close we are to the stage.hahas.

JJ and BY2.i thought BY2 clothes seems very ge-tai.

i've forgotten wad song he sang.

JJ and Fan Wei Qi singing some songs which i've forgotten too.hahas.i think is Hei Bai Pei.

JJ and Xu Huan Liang.

JJ hottest outfit of the day.

singing some songs.think is towards the end le.