My Shadows.

//Sunday, August 31, 2008 11:28 PM

今天回去了某个地方，
或许太久没去了，一切变得很生疏，很陌生，
应有的归属感也荡然无存。

或许是我变了吧，
变得更沉默寡言，变得更慢热了，
但要我厚脸无耻的硬闯进别人的谈话中，
抱歉，我无法做到。

现在，关系很复杂，他们已隔离自己了。
我融不进，
像已飘落的树叶，再也回不到大树的怀抱当中。

自我安慰：
现在不是搞关系的时候，
我应该专著在学业上，
等考完了再尽量融入他们的圈子里，
如果还是不行，我看我还是淡淡的退出吧。

勉强毕竟是没有幸福的。
简单的关系已晋升到复杂的关系，
单纯的关系已变得政治化了。
Everybody seems to be putting on a facade.
i can't differentiate between the real and the feign.

谢谢那些一直在我身边的朋友。=）
再度认识到家庭的重要性。
家始终是我的避风港。

i wished i could twist his neck with my bare hands.
i helped to take the picture by his request and yet he was so unappreciative.
oh wow.great him.give me that kind of look.ungrateful brat.
i know my photo taking skills isn't that great.but hey,blame ur camera phone la.
so insensitive.to think i thought he was cute.oh wow.i was blind.
the sight of him make me puke now.NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT OF HIM.
one of the worst guy i've ever seen.
XinYing is officially furious with him.
算了，事事如意就不叫作人生。

//Thursday, August 28, 2008 12:09 PM

FLIP.FLAT.FLOP.FLUNKED.

MY TITLE SAYS IT ALL for my prelims exams.
oh wow.wad splendid performance i put up for my last school exam paper.
never did i lost 40++ marks for add maths,which is almost half of e score of e paper.
i've seriously lost my confidence in this add maths paper.yes.i know it was hard.but i did not expect it to be so HARD like a rock.
my brains just can't seems to turn like other people.
english was my worst fear.and i really don't dare to think how i fare.[ok.i did think.i really want to pass my english.desperately.]
today chemistry wasn't any better.i'm sure when the paper is returned,there will a lot of remarks saying "Not Clear!".typically wad i receive when miss kho marked my work.
came home super early today.reached home at 11plus after walking around lot 1 with rainie.
envy?hehes.i was released at 10am.=)
chat a bit with mr kat and he says he attempt our chemistry paper.guess how much he get?85%.
with mcqs 39/40.oh wow.and wad am i going to get?seriously had no ideas.
ok.target for prelims result:
Add Maths-I just dun want get a C.a B4,pls?[for ur knowledge,11m from paper 1 has flew away.and there will be more.]
English-a C6 is sufficient.just dun let me fail.i'm really very worried for it.
SS-I want a pass too.i dun mind even if i get a 25/50 as mrs ram says that if we get 27/50, we can mediate at home.
Chemistry-B4.
others not taken yet.so dunno how i will fare.
anyway,i learnt one lesson.never ever hug Buddha's leg at the very last minute.i really hate myself for doing that during prelims.
what have i been doing lately?slacking?relaxing?this feelings is not loved.i've learnt my lesson and i'm going to improve on it.

updating my birthday post later this week.received many gifts.thanks jinyan and lijing for their surprise!
wad surprise?wait and see and read!=)

//Saturday, August 16, 2008 1:04 PM

Focused on 'O's Paper!!

Another week down.

woohoos!English 'O's oral over!=)
well,it really depends on individual to think whether we are lucky or not,as our topics are quite unpopular.but whatever it is,i really tried and did my best.so ya,like miss lee has said,now focus on our papers and do our best!=)
well,a really big thanks to miss lee cause she had been encouraging me not to have those "wad would..","wad if..","how.." thoughts,it's best to look forward!=) and ya,i expressed my gratitude to her when i was about to leave the school.and i was in such a good mood that whole day,cause i was very down before e 'O' level oral,disappointed with myself for not bringing e entry proof.nearly bursting into tears.i must be nuts!
the next day,i suffered brain freeze.for no good apparent reason.perhaps i was too tired.not having sufficient rest bahx.

anyway,congrats to TeAM table tennis of singapore!they have fought tough and hard with the koreans for e chance to go to the finals!=) good job!well,my heart nearly failed when i watched e match ytd.wad a timely arrive as i reached home,e match started.and i watched for e whole 5 rounds.i didn't bathe till e match end.hahas.
but unfortunately,something happened ytd and i was really affected by it.forgive me for ranting in chinese but i was really upset over it.

跟姐姐昨天谈过前天发生的事情，
我恍然发现或许你误会了我对你的关心，
你或许误会我喜欢你，
所以昨天似乎有一点在躲避我。
有时，我希望是我自己胡思乱想，
但那种告诉我你在逃避我的感觉太强烈了，
我无法抵挡，更无法磨灭。
我很难过，也很伤心，
因为一个女生，看到你难过，
安慰你，勉励你，你就因为不知道怎样应付而躲避她？
或许是我想太多了，我希望我是。
希望星期一回去，你已回到你之前的样子，
不在躲避我。

我以前眼睛一定瞎了。
不规律的心跳代表着什么呢？

ok.fighting hard for 'O's now!=)
gtg.smilex always!=)

//Monday, August 11, 2008 4:58 PM

Driven Nuts!

Yay!!finally,the torturous SPA SKILL 3 is OVER!O-V-E-R,OVER!
hahas,i'm indeed happy that skill 3 is over because i'm really weak at my skill 3,which is designing experiment.
i did my best during the exam,checking through,editing it[with lots of correction tapes and arrows], and examine every little details.i may not know e result,and my method for chem spa may not be that good,but i really did my best.so ya,let's not dwell on it,thinking how badly i've done,but now let's focus on the paper!=)

well,this week is yet another torturous week.'O's eng oral this week.as everyone know,my english is "superb",in a sense that it is lousy.my tenses,vocabulary are all in the wrong place.pace for reading aloud is very "efficient",and description of picture is "wonderful",conversation has "a lot of substance".but i'm trying,seriously.putting in the effort.i will definitely put in 200% of e efforts during the examinations. Jiayou,XinYing!=)

getting back 'O's chinese result back tmr.i feel like vomiting whenever i think about it.well,what done cannot be undone.let me stop thinking abt it.i shall just face e result bravely no matter what results i get.if i cry,please let me to.

not in the mood to blog as i have done little things during these few days.seriously disappointed with myself.
Progress of revision: ZERO.i'm dead for prelims.

gtg.smilex always!=)

Blog will not be updated consistently.be prepared to see spider webs at my blog!=)

因为某些事情，让我对某些东西产生不信任感，
虽然人也包括在内，但更大的因素在于别的东西上。
easy to lose one's trust,but hard to get it back.