My Shadows.

//Monday, July 07, 2008 12:13 PM

16 more weeks..

It's a futile attempt not to acknowledge the fact that O level is starting in 16 weeks' time!!!
i'm still slacking,taking my own sweet time to study.i seriously want to strangle myself!!
yes,i can feel the anxiety,fear inside my heart but i could do nothing if my mind,hand,legs do not want to cooperate with me!
well,i did study. i'm on pace with teachers for humanities subject.because i felt that there is simply no point chionging to the frontline without knowing what happened.
as for science subject,i seriously feel that my standard for chemistry is dropping.i haven been revising much for chemistry and my reaction lately towards all subjects including chemistry is a little bit retarded.grr.
as for maths,nevertheless,bomb us with papers.ms sim is teaching at the speed of light.could barely catch what she says.and i gotta clear my doubt on 1 qn.cos she zooms like siao,i can only catch bits and pieces of wad she is saying.and those bits and pieces i catch for this qn just dun fit inside the puzzle.
English,i am really trying very hard to absorb whatever i can for english.regardless of skills or vocabulary,i CAN'T AFFORD TO FAIL MY ENGLISH.i'm so damn scared and worried for my english.sometimes,i wonder,why can't my i speak english fluently and write it well?blame it on myself.

i can sense fear brewing inside my heart,stomach like clench fists whenever i think 'O's are simply so near yet so far.i'm seriously not prepare for it.
up till now,i'm still having doubts about myself.

well,enough of all those unhappy things.let me talked about one thing that make me feel thrilled all weekend long despite the overwhelming fear inside my heart.

i shouldn't hold a flippant attitude towards 'O's.that shouldn't be the case.[P.S.ok,i didn't hold a flippant attitude.just that i love to procrastinate.]

KNOW WHAT?Ngee Ann Poly is introducing Chinese Media and Communication!
WOOHOO!i'm just so thrilled,excited,jubilant when i saw this at NP webbie!!
hahas,yippee!!=)
well,one moment i was thinking whether i should go for DPA,worrying whether the new courses introduced next yr is of my likings or not,and the next moment i know,NP is introducing this new superb course!=)hahas.i'm just so elated to know this piece of news!=)
i'm really going to work very hard to get inside this dream course of mine!definitely!=)
i will still put Chinese Studies inside one of my choice,just that this course will definitely come 1st.

but hey,before all the joy overwhelmed me,i guess the top priority will be that i passed my 'O's with brilliant colour!working hard for it.i'm definitely going to pull through this ordeal.
i'm definitely putting my 200% effort inside this battle!i'm really really going to work hard for it.
so if anyone see me slacking,hit me real hard,ok?

我只是普通的人，
成绩不是我决定的，
不用这样抬举我，
拿到第一算什么？
我就一定要什么都会吗？

我也有犯错的时候，
我也有不会的时候，
我也有茫然的时候，
我也有不懂的时候，
何必这样抬举我呢？

我讨厌你们把我当成博士来看待，
我讨厌你们把我当成天才来看待，
我的成绩是我一步一个脚印摸索出来的，
我并非聪明，我反而很不灵光。

如果给我选择，
我要一步一个脚印慢慢的爬。
一时的成就，不代表什么。

我讨厌你们投以我那种我什么都会的眼神。
我是地才，不是天才。
搞清楚了吗？

我没有勇气跟你面对面交谈，
因为很有可能到时候，你所认识的我将彻底瓦解。