My Shadows.

//Thursday, October 25, 2007 11:24 PM

End of Secondary 3 life

It marked the end of my Secondary 3 hectic life.
However,It also revealed the start of the Secondary 4 mugging life.

Yes,today,i bade goodbye to the Secondary 3 me,as i'm moving on to Sec 4 le.time passes really fast,it was then i remember stepping into the classroom of 3B,and now i'm actually leaving the classroom of 3B.well,life still have to go on and we are going to have supplementary lesson next week.To prepare ourselves adequately for the O level.

Frankly speaking,i'm not ready for O level and the Sec 4 life.it will be mugging after mugging,and studying after studying.i actually felt terrified at the thought of going to Sec 4,but i will try to overcome this fear.

I'm not dropping to Combined Science,Add-Maths or whatever.i remained in my stream.definitely,i will try and do my best for everything i do.

it's late,and tmr is the meet-the-parent session.gotta sleep early cos my session is early.
blog more tmr.smilex always!=)

//Friday, October 19, 2007 11:24 PM

“欣“情

听这一首很伤心的情歌，此刻的我才发现原来自己有多么的肤浅。
我考试，在乎的只是成绩，过程就一直乞求着赶快过去就好。明知成绩不是一切，确忍不住地跟大家比较，问问身边的朋友考得怎样。

我很简单，我很好胜，我要的只不过是别人考得比我差，这样我心里就能比较安慰。我很自私，但我不想隐瞒我得自私，我的好胜，我的不堪一击。

不用你说，我也知道我很肤浅，我不想，但自己又怎能克制呢？脑子里想的尽是这一切，我讨厌这样的自己。

看了今天的总成绩，松了一口气，因为成绩虽然不理想，但也还好。我希望自己能够更有内涵一点，看到不是成绩，而是过程。但我烦恼的是，O水准，没有了PPR的帮忙，考得应该会非常不好吧？它单凭一张纸，就决定了我的命运，我们所有人的选择。我不知该怎么办才好，但我相信自己会很努力的去争取一切。

大家会走得比我快，但我一定会卯足全力跟上大家的步伐。我希望我可以，你们愿意帮我吗？

我此刻的心情是平静的，没有澎拜的情绪，我希望我可以。加油了，欣颖。我要你们的支持，我才能走得更远。用一句“换换爱”里面的台词，“从哪里跌倒，就从哪里站起”。我会努力的。但我现在要的是休息。=）

//Thursday, October 18, 2007 9:35 PM

原来我不是麻木的

原来我不是麻木的。

this is one fact i realize.i wasn't that numb as i thought i would be.i wasn't that depressed when i get back my results,in fact,i felt nothing at all.but then,after i came back home,and mum say something,i feel so upset about my results.

well.no points revealing my results here since it was a disastrous attempt.never did i fail my overall composition marks before.never did i fail my english paper 2.but still,i manage to scrape a mere pass for the overall marks.due to the help of oral.but still,it's really the boderline pass.i read many books yet i fail in my tenses.
i dun get what it means by nouns,adjectives adverbs,verbs.
i dun get what it means by past perfect tense,or whatever it is.
i dun get e ideas why my english is so lousy.my tenses etc.i did my best,put in all my energy in writing yet i get a "fail".

i live in a chinese-educated,chinese-speaking family.i did read my storybooks as i like to read storybooks more than newspaper.i did read.i did make attempts to improve my vocabulary but my tenses just sucks.any kind souls would like to help me in that?i'm near to tears now.it's just a matter of time when i will burst into tears.

i think i have been awake from those sweet dreams of going to BeiJing.i have been shaken awake to face the cruel reality.i have to improve my english.i cannot attend holiday lessons as i'm going to BeiJing.any arrangements for that?the teacher say it is a die-die must go lesson yet they put at such dates.how am i suppose to attend?i'm so afraid that i can't catch up with u guys. i have to put in extra efforts for that.i'm not going to let myself to slack too much in this holidays.help me,ok?

gtg.smilex always!=)

//Wednesday, October 17, 2007 3:04 PM

171007

I'm bored and sleepy.nothing to update actually,so i guess it will be a short(naggy?)post.well,it's great not to go to school for 5 straight days and it's already been one week since i finish my exams.
it's great to finish exams,really.u can sleep forever if u want,u can use computer until u have no idea what u are using for.i'm now watching why why love because i dunno wad to do.

well,yesterday,i spent my whole afternoon looking at e pattern and model of sports shoes available in China,of course,it's those nike,reebok etc as i want to get a great pair of shoes.not because i'm rich of course.but ya,i'm really looking forward to the BeiJing trip.been buying those necessary stuffs lately so as to get prepared early.i mean it's better to prepare earlier in case suddenly u realise that u still have stuffs u have not bought.is it confusing?i think it is.cos i'm really in way no mood to blog.feeling sleepy.

ytd was e briefing of the BeiJing trip.that lady who was explaining e things was getting fiercer and agitated as the time went by.hahas.really.she looks so fierce and she kind of remind of how i was scolded by a stupid *ahem* when i was working last time at suntec city.hahas.if u dun get what i mean,read back my May post.i mention it before.

and so,tmr is the day which all of us anticipate and look forward to.GET BACK OUR RESULT.the thought of it somehow give me a small jolt in the stomach.(is this how it was suppose to use?)well,everyday,msn nick reveal how people felt about getting back e result.me too.but i have no idea why i'm not that afraid.perhaps,my family had succeeded in "brainwashing" me not to think so much about e result.even though i never put in my utmost effort,but i did try my best in doing my paper.i try and if results dun show,i could only blame myself.or perhaps,the excitement of going to BeiJing had overwhelmed me that i couldn't care less about my results.no idea.but when someone told me about a class add-maths result,i didn't feel a lot[not that i'm proud],but seriously,am i being numb?i wouldn't reveal which class here but maybe u may try asking me,i may tell and i even know some results of those.i dunno my results and people,it's not 3B.so i've no idea how did our class fare.

well,i dun harbour high hopes for my results,especially my english.i'm super worried that i would fail as my summary is total rubbish.no use panicking here.all i could do is to pray hard for tmr results.

gtg.smilex always!=)

//Saturday, October 13, 2007 10:15 PM

my feelings.

sometimes,i dun understand why do elite school exist?does that simply mean neighbourhood school are lousy?does not studying 3rd language so important?does that mean that we should always make elite school our choices?

i'm sick of her.i'm sick of her topic revolving around her school.her elite school.ok,i dun mean students should not study elite school,or picking up on students studying elite school.but,sometimes,i can't stand her.i dun understand why neighbourhood school are not that great.somehow,i think neighbourhood school are as great as elite school.or even better
no use telling me all the things that happened around your school.
no use having ur talks revolving around elite school.
no use having your conference now and then about ur school.
i'm so sick and i just wish i could just simply shut her mouth up.

i dun dislike her,but i just dun like why she keep talking about her school.i'm not at least interested.her school drop band,so what?is it a very big news?there's always up and down in this world.and i think it's good to have her school drop band,so that she won't brag so much.
she kind of left me out of the conversation.with her elite talk.from her school getting gold from SYF,studying 3rd language etc.

it's hard to guess who i'm refering to.or maybe not.this post is just to vent my frustration.not picking up on anyone except her.

gtg.smilex always!=)

P.S.if u guys wonder why i suddenly change blogskin,e reason is i dun wanna see darkness anymore.e skin is very dark.suddenly wish to see something clean and light.and i like this skin.so change it.=)prefer something bright and clean now.=)

//Friday, October 12, 2007 10:32 PM

Tired

ok.i'm worn out and feeling very dizzy and sick now.after ice-skating.muscles pain.hahas.well,today ice-skating was fun.just that i fell down twice.and i got one blue-black now at my knees there.ok.main purpose of blogging is not this.blog because i wanna share a few things about myself.
hahas.super lame horx?i also know.but i'm too bored le.and i'm going to sleep soon.so i'm going to share with u guys some unknown sides of me.*grins* but,it's written in chinese.so it depends whether u know how to read anot.=)

我的“不能说的秘密”

我常常会想一些有的没得的quotes，不知为什么，就是会想这些东西。而且，我也很喜欢读这些quotes哦。
如果我没出门的话，我可以穿我睡觉的裤子一整天，知道我冲凉为止。因为舒服嘛，哈哈。
我以前小时候有学过画画，不相信吧？因为我现在的画全都是我姐姐画的，嘿嘿。我很小的时候就显露出我没有画画天分了，因为我当天学，当天忘。
我很讨厌身上带任何的首饰，我会觉得浑身不自在。而且，我皮肤对这种东西超敏感。
我对鞋子情有独钟，最不喜欢看衣服，因为身材很烂，所以如果有钱的话，宁可花钱买鞋子也不买衣服。而且，我是不会传没有袖子的衣服。

that's all for today.i'm feeling very sick and tired le.and ya,i change my blogskin.it's been a long time since i change to navigation skin.no more cute skins.=)
gtg.smilex always!=)

//Wednesday, October 10, 2007 6:17 PM

Back to blog=Exam Finish!

oh well,after such a LONG period of time,i'm finally back to blog!!!=)hahas,i'm super happy now cos i've finished my exams[counting out Chinese Listening=.=],but hey,at least those major one finish le!!=)

well,this post is mainly about exams la.so dun get bored.hahas.well,before i know,exams started.and i was unprepared about it.why?because....
people who is close to me should know e reason.i lost someone who loves me dearly and whom i love dearly.even though we are not that close,but still,u never ever want to experience e pain of losing your loved ones.and SOMEONE EVEN THINK THAT I'M JOKING WITH HIM.that's why,i'm not on good terms with him now.i mean,do i look like someone who will joke about this kind of matter?super pissed off just by the thought of it.

enough of those sad thing,shall start on exams stuffs.i think i suffer those pre-exam sickness.like no appetite,and worse,i keep feeling like vomitting!and my family say during e exam period,my face was like so black,now back to e cheery me!=)of course,there are many factor why i'm super happy.=)

ok,shall talk about certain subjects for EOY.1st,E-maths and Social Studies.E-maths was kind of disastrous for me.i was panicked throughout the paper.couldn't think,and mdm mah say it is easy.=.=,blame it on my insufficient practice.well,what done cannot be undone.do not wish to dwell on it.actually,my humanities SEQ is total rubbish.both for history and SS.but at least SS is about singapore,whereas,history?i couldn't see any link except not to let history repeat itself in this generation.
physics.for me,it's ok.but whether i will score well anot is another matter.what i know is that,i'm happy i understand e qn.not total lost.some qns are from TYS and from revision paper Miss Lim give.didn't really revise those revision paper but i got vague impression of it.=)
E-maths paper 2.simply disastrous.but i can't rmb what i did.becos i choose to forget.hahas.
Chemistry Paper yesterday.the min i saw e 1st qn,i was stunned.no idea what it is trying to say.everything is so wordy.every qn i do need time to think.i do finish MCQs den jump to section C.and when i saw it,i smile.cos mr kat give that paper to do before!!and he was marking that paper just e day before.but i still lost mark here and there.and when i choose e either/or qn,i smile too.cos it's from e prelim paper and i do it ytd,and i look at e ans key e day before!!
so it left me some impression.but section B was horrifying.words and words.and look at the time i left,i just do it hastily.
Add-Maths today.again stunned at the first qn.i rmb seeing it in e exercise book and i didn't attempt to it.regretted but hopefully,my working is correct.den 3rd qns.stunned again.volume of cylinder?didn't rmb what it is.but i still get e ans at e last min.why?ask me urself.sometimes,i dunno how my brain work,to get me through certain ordeal.hahas.
graph was absolute rubbish.i dunno i draw correctly anot.cos only liying graph is same as me.except that i couldn't find my y-intercept.

enough of exams.it's over.and i'm now looking forward to the BeiJing Immersion Trip!yippee!hahas.i'm soooo looking forward to it.i couldn't wait.hahas.i just take a look at the hotel website.it seems quite good.i will be sharing a room with YingYing.=)
and ya,later going to take anti-flu injection and blood test.=)

alright.gtg.will blog again tmr if i got things to blog.smilex always!=)

P.S.Siew Lee,dun get too upset.u never know e result till the last min.also,that's not e way to calculate how many marks u lose.=)Jiayou!A time failure doesn't mean an eternal failure.Have faith in yourself!=)