My Shadows.

//Friday, January 26, 2007 8:41 PM

Flunk-ING all my test

weekend arrive again and finally le.yippe!!and this week,if nth goes wrong,gonna go Fahrenheit autograph sessions with Jinyan this sunday.so i will try and finish all my sch work tmr or by Sunday noon.at least,let me finish doing all my work 1st.anyway,life in school is still ok.shalln't write about things that happen during this few days..but unfortunately,there are a lot of things that greatly affect my mood.
1.I noe i'm flunking my english diagnostic test,my Add Maths Class test,my Chemistry Class test and probably my maths common test.It like so obvious lorx.
English test-i mean i anyhow just produced 1 compo,and with no dialogue in it.totally no lorx.and i mean it is like quite a lousy piece of compo..with teacher hinting that a lot of people fail e test.gosh.i mean how can i survive.even u get 15/30,it is consider like D7..e criteria is like so high.
Add maths test-firstly,i love Add maths..but e time for add maths test is like so short,give us only 10-15mins to finish it.e 1 st qns i think i got some careless mistake,that y couldn't work out e factorization..i was like thinking of possible number den i look up,realising that e test gonna end at 9.05 and it like near to 9 le.so go and do qn 2 1st.finish den went back to qn 1,den it like no time le.in e end,haven do finish and was forced to pass up.so i think i will fail..
Chemistry Class Test-haha.guarantee plus warranty will fail de.cos i totally dun understand e whole paper wad it is trying to say and ask.den was like so blur and dunno how to do.it not that i never study,but e things i study and e qns they ask are totally 2 irrelevant point.gosh.and mr kat dun believe i'm flunking it.wait till he see e paper.
Maths Common Test-I noe how to do,but i dunno whether i will flunk it anot.cos e 1 which get bottom is a girl which get 4-5 marks.so no idea.just hoping that i will get greater result becos i do noe how to do e paper.not that i dunno or wad.but i'm just left unable to comment.....
those tests left me a heavy feeling after i done finish them.becos i think i did badly and did not perform as well as i should be..there is a huge disappointment inside my heart but mum say take it easy,it like that in e beginning..give urself more time to adapt to e new enviroment.but this isn't e excuse i'm finding for myself,yes,i do admit that i'm still quite lost and still adapting to e new enviroment,but i mean,i expect myself to perform better but in fact,it does not really happens.i'm going to put in more extra effort for everything.i'm trying my best..
though i'm on e verge of breaking down.
though i already breakdown twice in a row for less than a month.
though it is very tiring and e journey for it wasn't smooth at all.
though i am now on another verge of breaking down with so many tests FLUNK-ING.
Life hasn't been easy but i'm still putting my very best effort for it.and ya,i stay back for chemistry today till 4 plus.den go home and rest.stay back cos i ask kat kat to explain e chemistry he taught earlier..cos i totally dun understand wad he is trying to say or explain eariler.i have a clearer concept now.much better.and chemistry common test coming and he tell me this,''Can u don't worry so much for chemistry common test?''..somewhat like that,but how can u ask me not to worry with so many things i dunno and unfamiliarize???gosh..i'm fainting lorx.. though like this,i'm trying my best for it..so now relaxing myself,starting to work on my pile of stacking weekend homeworks..i mean it is like almost every subject oso got homework lorx..it is maddening..and i finish some chemistry qns in school with kat kat help..it is like lightening e burden a little bit..
gtg.watching hana kimi to relax myself a bit.i'm really breaking down again.

how much more to go on?
i'm having doubts that i could hold out long.
it is like so tiring.
so this is e life of upper secondary.
it like a total difference of how i think it was supposed to look or seem like.
i seem to noe so much but it seems so little.
i'm really going to break down le........

//Saturday, January 20, 2007 11:20 PM

Ikea Trip

hmmms..didn't do a lot of homework.that is one thing that happens today.only manage to finish Add Maths..and den was out almost e whole day.went to get scholarship in e afternoon.saw melissa and confirm with her that add maths was really done in foolscape paper.cos i didn't jot down where i was suppose to do it.and ya,i am under e 2pm slot.1st time get e 2pm slot.hahas.so ceremony starts at almost 2pm sharp.presented by 'Humpty Dumpty'.den get 1 $500 cheque and 1 certificate.normally,only get a $250 cheque only,no certificate.and ya,my seat number is 0170.beside me,was sitting my eng class classmates,but we didn't interact at all.dunno why,cos she seems like avoiding my stare so i could do nth.and den beside me again,sit a guy from dunno wad school,named:Lester Choy,if i didn't see and hear wrongly,try to see his name tag,but couldn't see quite clearly.think they put according to surname.just my guess only.he is quite a good-looking guy.ok.i 'fa hua chi' again.got take pictures but i look super ugly in it.not going to post e pics up.sometimes i hate taking pictures.
den later went ikea..gonna change my room look le..me,bro and sis,having new cabinet and table..was choosing e suitable woods for our new study corner.spend loads of time there.shall post a pic up when it is done.all those wood delivery on thursday.and i was stupidly thinking that how are we supposed to carry home.=.='',lame cum stupid,rite?den later we go ikea 2nd floor and apply Ikea membership.den got $5 voucher,but spent le.bought a stool and my marker.den later went to hawker centre and settle our dinner.eat oyster omelette[finally!yippee!],den prawn noodles.and ya,b4 that,go and eat e IKEA hotdogs buns.it is nice.next time will come and eat again.haha..i am mad.
den went to Queensway Shopping Centre to look for brother clothes,and he bought 3 shirts and 1 pants.and ya,not those punkish punkish tee.my brother doesn't suit at all.cos he is those guai guai guys who zi kua himself as looking like those korean guys.=.=''..den i was like wanting to vomit out le.and oso,i bought e badminton grip stuff.finally,at $3.bought le.gonna wrap tmr.
gosh.all my family member sleep le.left me alone using e computer.
gtg.smilex always!=)
P.S.Tmr Schedule:Finishing all my Chinese and English homework.

//Friday, January 19, 2007 4:45 PM

200th POST!!!

weehee!!200 posts le!!!hahas..congrats me,pls!!!=)
ok..it been 10days since i last blog..and yes,10 WHOLE DAY WITHOUT BLOGGING..not just with blogging but rarely use e com..haha..cos i was busy chionging my chinese magazine..i admit i got use computer but really purely for e chinese magazine..shall let u see my magazine later.peeps.ok..i have been using e internet lesser and lesser for e past few weeks after lessons have started.as far as i noe,i'm having homework everyday.it a huge compare and contrast from SEC 2.so it is very busy very day..thankfully,e CCA isn't that much for now,but i declare that me,Choy Xin Ying,will definetely pon e CCA if it is necessary to do that.anyway,i have been sleeping lesser and lesser too.it like 6 or less than 6 hours everyday,causing me to be quite sleepy at lessons.but i can still manage it.shalln't blog about wad happen for e past 10days,as it is a hassle and i can't remember that much of wad is happening.shall just say something of each subject.
English-Miss[Ms?] Amy Yap taught me,melissa and siew lee.cos we were homeless for a day as Miss Serene Lai miss out our name.den later,in Amy Yap class.i like e way she taught,not like Tay Tay,but she use a lot of pro pro words.so sometime dun understand e meaning of wad she say.anyway,i can't be sure i will stay in her class forever.as we are group according to band.and there was this eng diagnostic test which will definetely make me to go to a lower band.cos,firstly,i anyhow write.Secondly,i simply didn't use any dialogue.gosh.i can go and bang the wall le.everybody use dialogue except me.even melissa and siew lee use.Thirdly,i think i didn't meet e words requirement.i just happy-go-lucky finishing writing.thinking that i got 300+ words,which i think,in fact,it is less than that.
Maths-Taught by Mdm Joanne Mah.she is indeed a motherly teacher who teach very patiently.and i like maths now.regardless of E-Maths or Add-Maths.though i got a lot of careless mistake.u will noe what i mean.class test this wednesday.get 16/20.was kind of disappointed actually.but i will try to improve my marks for it.
i'm lazy to reblog some of e parts as some of e parts gone missing after my com went sort sort.qi si wo le.so shall just shorten my posts.will reblog e content if i feel like it.cos i am damn so angry and pek chek with it.arrgghh!!!
anyway,today kat kat look so funny with the goggles.u should see it.so not like him lorx.hahas.but he is still that cute.haha.i'm gonna kill my blog or computer for making my piece of blog gone missing.damn frustrated.my brains isn't functioning well.cos i am sleepy.and i'm watching YLBFB in 20 mins.i'm uploading e screenshots of my magazine up here.not very big but just some examples of how my magazine looks.got a lot of cute pictures.and shall let u guys see e real version once i get it back.i'm simply so sleepy.been focusing to blog for about an hour plus.not really.watch Tank-Zhuan Shu Tian Shi Mv,it is very nice.hehe.den been watching youtubes.
anyway,i love imageshack.it uploading speed is much faster den photobucket.really faster lorx.
imageshacks rawks!
changing my blog song to Bei Pan[Betray]by Gary.den now listening to Ken Hirai-Aika.quite nice and i have e song le.nice!
gtg.smilex always!napping straight after watching YLBFB.
Screenshots of my magazine:

Cover and e Menu.

**Pages are post accordingly.**

//Tuesday, January 09, 2007 10:18 PM

extra heartbeat every moment

ok..i am exhausted.and i'm suffering from extra heartbeat every moment and everyday.i admit that i may become very tense and twitchy at times.i'm experiencing stress le.without anybody seating with me in my english class and my chinese class group seems not to be that well and cooperative.oh my gosh.how i wish i can change my place and seats.i'm going to change it no matter wad.asking someone to seat with me during english lesson as i'm feeling very weird sitting alone and feeling very lonely lorx.especially when tmr is gonna be double period and no one with me.asking Umairah to sit with me,perhaps?request her bahx.and i'm damn afraid and nervous..i should have work extra harder to go to the other class of chinese lesson.or maybe insist that i change my seat.i will try if i could.giving all lame excuses.i dun care.i dun think i can coop well and behave normally sitting beside him.i'm requesting it.i want to change seats badly!and it is driving me mad.and ya,lesson is still well except i didn't make friends during english and chinese lessons.things couldn't rush,perhaps,and i think our class 3B,is quite alright.with friendly people beside me and helping me.and ya,Mr Kat lied to me.he told a lie.and teacher shouldn't be doing that,ok?i'm under him for chemistry and he say i'm under benny.den when he say i was under him,i was like so shocked and monotone laugh at me.maybe becos ppl see him laugh,den they laugh at me,seeing he laughing at my direction,they oso laugh. and at that time he was about to drink water.thankfully,he didn't drink if not gonna have waterfall le.hahas.
gtg.just a brief post on how i feel.sleeping soon.smilex always!=)

//Sunday, January 07, 2007 9:55 PM

Studying tmr

gosh.school is really starting tmr.and we need to be friends with e textbook again.facing it everyday.worst still,with maths and science everyday.gosh.

My stomach isn't feeling well.feeling painful from time to time.noe e cause but dunno how to explain.

School is really starting tmr.working hard again.

PA duty back for tmr morning.i will and may be late.

My skins have red spots.due to the dunno wad bites.

and i'm feeling not very well.

I'm going to fall sick le.with my stomach aching.

ok.went to see chinese doctor at jurong east.went to imm later on.with sister and mum.was 'mad' at sis for ransacking my memory of drinking and eating cold stuff.dunnid u to recall my memory for it.den went imm.go to BEST to look for television price.stay there awhile and went Daiso.me and mum scrapping lots of stuffs on Hello Kitty,including a sole of hers.hahas.and den go giant,and go home.didn't feel like blogging so just post a short post.
gtg.smilex always!
P.S.i'm nervous yet excited for studying.
and youtube is really very lagging.

//Friday, January 05, 2007 8:29 PM

Camp Experience

didn't blog ytd..i got blog at 1st..but later lijing and kat kat talk to me and time was getting late and so i didn't blog.End of Camp..and school really starts on Monday with the timetable given to us.shall start with ytd sentosa trip 1st.
PAUL TWOHILL didn't join us for sentosa trip.
and we went to sentosa as e time schedule and before that there were a talk and a tee was given free to us and was requested to wear that..I was supposed to get an M size but i didn't as M size is out of stock and i get an L.it was kind of large but wasn't that worse as e YLMP tee shirt.and so on e journey to sentosa,i talk about myself to liying,my new made frenx and we started chatting with one another and talk.i talk most of e time and she listen most of e time.hahas..in any cases,reaches sentosa and started with e games.1st station was memory game and we took quite some time there.after finish..going to e 2nd station and actually we wanna board a bus..someone ask e bus uncle where it is and we found out that it was actually very near.Creams on e balloon and we need to shave it with e sharp edges of plastic knife.of course we weren't stupid..just use e not so sharp sides to shave..haha.we cheated and so are others.den go to 3rd station..it is like a games which request for stuff.and we needed 3 pairs of nike shoe and we got only 2.so ask an NYJC person to come and help us..haha.den 2 sunglasses too.haha.. den to the 4th station.was at e beach and we walk there.but e person ask us to go to station 5 instead 1st.worst of all,still -5.unfair.and we walk from palawan beach to tanjong beach and it was like so far lorx.=.=''. everybody was like grumbling and when we reach there..we found out that station is closed.den we meet other groups too.took e tram back and we were like chionging for e bus and got 1 3A group sit there 'gong gong' de..haha.and so no space for them to sit..and was like smirking at others as our trams was full and they couldn't board..haha.den went home alone as Jinyan and Lijing had gone off le.
den today started off with talks and was like so boring lorx.den go back still talk talk till i nearly fall asleep and we need to present things lorx..haha..den we go in groups to discuss stuffs.den when it was time to present..i was e narrator and whatmore,i volunteered it myself and by the time we get on stage,i regretted my actions and was like so nervous and scared.and i was like thinking of jumping off e building and of course,i'm just joking..haha..cos i am really too afraid le..i got stage fright and e reason i volunteered myself is becos i want to use a mike.lame,right? being a PA crew,i never used a mic before.and so went i get on stage and speak,i really think of jumping off e building.i was nervous till siao le.and thankfully,everything goes well..and yes,Group 14,Bluetooth,won e Best Cheerleading Prize..Yippee!!!haha..but i was like so malu cos i was e 1st to stand up and everybody was unwilling to get up and Jinyan told me,i look so kanchiong..so get up on stage and say the cheers again..haha.and i go and received e prize..and they say i look kanchiong.prize is just chocolates.keep thinking about it.haha..anyway,e slideshow of our pictures was like kind of touching.feel like crying and 1st photo got my face le.haha.and oso my hand when i held out a blue tee if i'm ain't wrong.where is my face?!?!haha..joking only.. den later get back to facillators and was dismissed.we write stuffs of encouragement to one another and end up getting e last to go.quite fun and sch really starts next monday!!and yes,get e new timetable with maths and science everyday.guess it will drive me mad but i will try to adapt to it..e happiest thing was Ms koh is our SS teacher.yay!!haha..
ok..gtg..smilex always!stomach isn't well.
P.S.i told shafiqa to watch e news tmr as i'm going to jump off e building later when i went back to where i seat after receiving e prize.
5th January 2007-One of e Craziest moment and stuff i did in my life.
To Lijing:Sorry to make u angry cos we laugh at u.promise wouldn't laugh u anymore and so stop being angry,ok?Really sorry about it and is sincerely apologising to u.

//Wednesday, January 03, 2007 9:21 PM

Dead Beat

I'm currently dead beat.eyelids closing.feeling tired like siao..and i am going to sleep soon..around 10.30-11..or maybe earlier cos i am really really very tired after 1 whole day of activity in school..some of e time is like bored like siao..rotting at there.anyway,SCHOOL REOPENS today. frankly speaking,when i went to the parade square and sit down,i am like so lost and lonely and yes,lonely,this word cum feeling,never leave my side today.i am like in a new surrounding with just some ppl i noe and i dunno them well too.and so later i join in e conversation with 3 other friends and just chatted.but erm..it wasn't that well.shalln't tok about it.and yes,my register number is 2.1st time my register number was 2.kind of feeling fresh but i prefer 1..haha.and den start off e school days seeing e old faces and later listening to mdm lee speech again..haha.and new banners.every year or i should say,every part of e year got new banners de.but glad to say,e new banners are nice!!haha..not very nice la..but better and nicer.den play continent game,quite funny and never play a lot of rounds.later part go and think of our group name and decorate our banners.came out with e name 'BLUETOOTH',nice name horx?i noe it is nice..hehe.and our group is kind of united.=p..haha..maybe dunno each other well,so choose e smart way and that is to cooperate.. and our cheers is like this 'RGB[Red Green Blue],3B-ians,wad color is your tooth?Bluetooth.'
and later went to hall listening to talks and say our cheers.and den play games again.using chairs and that was like so scary lorx..hahax.and den went home earlier den schedule.cos it was stated 6 and last time consent form say 4.30.and we releases at around 5.haha..den tmr going sentosa!!playing games again.and maybe come back home at 7..cos that wad e paper say..and i newly added.got 1 guy in my class looks kind of familiar to me?when had i see him before?got those kind of deja vu feeling..haha..kidding la.just find him very familiar and my brains are not working since i saw him cos i can't remember him.hahas.lame=.=''
fine..i'm really signing off to sleep.smilex always!=)
and gosh..i didn't realise my 'Likes' section had been missing.and missing since when?

//Monday, January 01, 2007 1:55 PM

Happy New Year!1st blog post of 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!=)
hmms..and so a brand new year has began..and this is my 1st blog post of e year..so must put red red..haha..lame..anyway..was countdowning at home ytd..prefer to stay at my cozy home to count down..and before that,went to sheng siong for dinner..eat economics pork chop with mum and dad..there were only 3 of us as sis and bro went out le..bro went out to countdown and sis went dating le..so me stuck with mum and dad..den go shengsiong walk and walk and buy those necessities..and den go and take a look at television set..getting a new television set soon as e smaller tv is kind of weird..must always bang and slap and beat den can use..haha..must use violence den can watch.and den go home and wait for countdown..
den today stay at home.clear my table and arrange all the things nicely..now it isn't messy at my desk and is quite clean..haha..spent e morning doing so-called 'spring cleaning'..and now it is much nicer and neater den before le..den go and arrange e magazine at e small desk in e living room.and ya..i am down with a flu now.ate medicine and i'm feeling kind of drowsy..feeling to sleep and i'm going to sleep soon.i choose such a good time to fall sick..haha..no la..i dun wanna fall sick..and YOUTUBE IS REALLY VERY SLOW.i can't watch Episode 6 Part 5..waiting it to load..and i will only sleep after watching.and school reopening on wednesday..and i will need to wait for sometime for e holidays to begin again.i'm ain't looking forward to school reopen.i still wanna holiday and i need more of it.haha..using PEPSI slogan..'Ask for
More'..and actually going to Far East later,but due to flu,postpone till tmr..
gtg..smilex always!=)Happy New Year!!=)
P.S.Eating steamboat at night.=p..H00ray!=)